I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
a search helicopter?!
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
