I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
