Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so let's talk penis.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
