he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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