once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
