Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize