Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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