Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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