i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
