Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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