We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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