so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
