what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
