I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
