You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
