apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
