the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
