I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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