My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
