I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
