i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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