Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
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i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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