There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Enjoy the penises
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
