So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
