Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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