I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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