At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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