the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
