are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
