She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
