i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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