I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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