My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
