I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
