now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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