i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
