we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
