I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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