Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
