she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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