Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
