Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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