I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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