They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Randomize