brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
