I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
