so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
