I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize