Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
