I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
