Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
