She said her name was "party"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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