I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
