Screwed.edu
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Two words: nipple clamps
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