I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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