i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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