No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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