I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
They took my balls.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
