I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize