Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
