i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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