His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize